The Minecraft movie hit theaters on April 4. It was terrible. From the moment it came on screen, the Minecraft movie became what every video game fan feared: A bad adaption written by someone who doesn’t know the source material.
The Minecraft movie stars Jack Black as Steve, and it is obvious from the beginning that he had a huge part in the creative process. The movie starts with a monologue from Steve talking about how he ended up in the world of Minecraft. The movie goes downhill from there. With the introduction of Steve as a normal guy, it makes the movie feel less like the game. In the game, players wake up in the blocky world and get to work on doing whatever they please. I don’t like this new origin for Steve. They took the easy way of explaining him, by making him a real person inside of a video game, which is all too common of a story line now. This plot device has appeared in Jumanji, Tron and Black Mirror, making it unoriginal and boring.
The next problem comes from the villains of the movie. When Minecraft first introduced the Nether, the enemies there were Ghasts, Blazes, Zombie Pigman, Wither Skeletons and Magma Cubes. The boss, which in video games are a harder enemy to fight, is something called the Wither. This boss does not make an appearance, despite being part of the game for years. Neither do the Wither Skeletons, Blazes or Magma Cubes. The Ghasts appear in the movie as floating transport, but when the movie was released, this was not a function in the game, making it feel less like the game we love, Minecraft. The Piglins, which are an updated version of the Pigmen, act as the villains of the movie, being led by Malgosha.
Malgosha is not from Minecraft. She only appeared in a spin-off game that was not well received, only receiving a million dollars upon release, and rated 58% on SteamDB. This inclusion of an unknown character creates a weird effect on the movie, as anyone who hasn’t played the spin-off doesn’t know the villain, creating a sense of unfamiliarity.
Another problem lies in the characters. Jack Black’s Steve is too silly for the movie. He sings constantly, and while he has many quotable one-liners, it doesn’t mean that they are good. Jason Mamoa’s character, Garrett, is probably the best part of the movie. He has a lot of lines that are barely noticeable, but that makes it all funnier. The main character of the movie, Sebastian Hansen’s Henry, is probably the worst part of the movie. His inability to deliver lines is incredibly frustrating. His character is quite smart and built a working jetpack on his first day of school. A JETPACK. I hate these types of characters, because why would he be going to a normal school? If a child is a genius in a movie, they shouldn’t be just a normal kid. It ruins the idea that this is real life.
The problems with the Minecraft movie don’t stop there. While the movie is marketed towards kids, the target audience should have been those who grew up with the game. People my age. The game came out in 2011, when I was 4. I started playing it a few years after it came out, when I was around 7. It could have still had moments for kids, but the movie itself could have been geared more towards an older audience.
The best takeaway from the movie was the theater experience. “It was a -100/10 movie, but an 100/10 experience,” junior Grant Smithmyer said. It was insane how rowdy people would get during the movie. People would scream every single quote that appeared in the trailers, like: “Chicken Jockey!” or “Coming in hot!” It was awesome. Not as great for the cinema workers, as in most cases, popcorn was thrown EVERYWHERE.
The reactions to the Minecraft movie are very mixed, as some share my beliefs, while others do not. “It was so bad, it was good,” senior Lucy Frye said. I can almost agree with that. “An extraordinary experience. A 10 out of 10 experience,” junior Charley Thiry said. I definitely don’t agree with that, but people are entitled to their opinions. My opinion is that it shouldn’t have made over 700 million dollars worldwide. There are plans to make sequels because of how much money it made, despite it being so awful.
You can watch the Minecraft movie on DVD for $20, or wait for the, get this, SING ALONG to come out in theaters.
